Awake
by rubyxblade
Summary: An ordinary life isn't what she wanted. She probably didn't want this either.
1. A Beginning

**AN/ **Hi! Thanks for taking the time! I use wiki spellings. I will not be using 'chan' 'kun' whatever, just 'sensei' because I want to. 'M' rating because there will be adult stuff later. It's not smut, it's a story. When they're in costume or being talked about like heroes, they get hero names. Otherwise, it's fairly informal. Feel free to chat me up!

**5 Years Ago - Ochaco age: 17**

_I'm petrified of emptiness, let aside the loneliness_  
_And lovers tend to break me in two_  
_If you were to come back to me, in pieces or in melody_  
_There couldn't be a better way through - My Name is Trouble by Keren Ann_

Bright sunshine made the mid-winter day warm, and I felt like I was slowly being baked alive in all my safety gear. Deku was leaping about, using his multiple quirks a lot better than the first time I'd seen him use them. Froppy jumped along on the wall off to the side, her hair starting to shimmer in the way I knew meant that she was trying to use her camouflage.

I heard the rushing wind and crackle of ice, Todoroki obviously trying to catch Sunatchi, as he'd announced his name as. It was appropriate, since he could 'snatch' your quirk, leaving you little more than a basic human. Though in Creati's case, a basic human who trained everyday to be a top athlete. She was standing behind Todoroki's ice shield, a spear she'd made earlier still in her hand.

I deactivated my quirk, landing on my spring-heeled boots with a whumph. I dashed ahead, the others surrounding me as Todoriki wrapped Sunatchi, Creati charging forward, holding the spear at his neck.

"Give my quirk back!" She snarled in a tone I hadn't heard before. Her spear kissed his neck, making the villain sweat, finally.

Sunatchi smiled, trying to angle his neck away, "Sure, sure!" Creati blinked, then a nesting doll popped out of her elbow, and she smiled beautifully before settling her face back to game on. "How about you let me go," his eyes bore into Todoroki's, "and take me in." He looked defeated, and Todoroki's lips turned up in a small smirk.

"Uravity?" I came to stand next to the villain, knowing that I was to null his gravity. It's very disorienting, but it wouldn't damage him. Plus, it would keep him right where we wanted him until we could get quirk restraints.

I touched him just as Todoroki let the ice floe break. My quirk failed to activate, and I couldn't help but stare at my hands in disbelief. Creati stared at me, and Deku screamed out, though I couldn't tell you what he said.

Sunatchi laughed wildly, lunging at me, and then breaking into a run. Todoroki, distracted now, barely managed to push a tendril of ice toward him. Deku ran in, his shadows clawing at the villain as Froppy whipped her tongue out in a bid to tangle his legs. Sunatchi tried to dodge all three threats, jerking almost comically in his attempt to break our line.

That's when the impossible happened. Or, we should have known it would happen someday. It was a tipped weapon, and Creati never did anything halfway.

The blade was razor sharp, and it flashed in the sun as it pieced Sunatchi's chest, causing a red gush to sparkle in turn before splashing to the ground just ahead of the man himself. The blood pool widened lazily as I cried, great busting sobs for the villain who'd, in a way, forced the situation. Though we are trained to not kill. Hurt to the point, but not beyond.

"It's done, stand down." Ever one for understatement, Todoroki barked his next orders, "Call an ambulance." He bent to me, "You okay? Did he hit you?"

"I'm.." I was about to say fine, but something prevented me. Instead I wrapped a hand around my forearm. Nothing. Not even a tingle, or the feeling of my stomach dropping away. Just the warmth of my hand. The tightness of my fingers now digging in. "No. No!" I stood, clutching my arm and turned to press fingertips into Todoroki's chest. **Dead**. _I'm dead_. I have to be dead. This isn't, this... I broke down again, "I can't! It won't change!"

Everyone turned terrified eyes on me. Bottom line, in their minds, only dying could be worse than losing your quirk. Deku rushed to my side and enfolded me, his tears now dripping uselessly into my hair.

"Uraraka, are you sure?" His arms tightened as I quaked against him, "We can fix it, maybe it just takes a bit if he doesn't do it himself."

"M-maybe." I held onto that weak thread. If it's all that could keep me from falling off the edge, I would hold onto the thought that my powers would come back.

Froppy came in on the other side, her hands swamping my shoulders as she hugged me. Todoroki pivoted, his hand landing on my bicep in a grip that I could feel to my core. Creati, her own face streaked in tears pushed in too, we stood together. At the end, I was glad I had so many people I cared about right here.

**3 Days later**

"We've tried everything I can think of, dear." Recovery Girl patted my knee.

The faces of everyone in the room - my parents, Chiyo-sensei, Principal Nezu, even Aizawa-sensei, looked tired. I knew I felt it, but everyone was here for one last try at Recovery Girl's miraculous healing. And nothing. The last three days, the last year and a half were for nothing, and I could feel my attention starting to drift again. I could barely control myself long enough to finish out the meeting.

Principal Nezu wriggled his whiskers, but in the end took a sure-footed stance and glanced at everyone in the room before catching my eye, "I hate to say this, but I have to remove you from the hero course if you don't have a quirk. If you get it back again, I will happily graduate you from the Hero Course, but, as it stands..." He left the words to stand for a moment in the room that was quiet as the grave. My mother started weeping quietly, I heard her, and what was surely the sound of my father comforting her. "You may finish school here at UA in the General Studies. No matter where you are, an education here is top-notch. You can be assured of getting into whatever college you wish."

I nodded. There was no way in hell I could stay here. All my friends going on to become Heroes. Living their lives, eating Bakugo's famous Saturday breakfasts. Laughing at Kaminari, groaning at Mineta, joking with Midoriya. Without me. My heart shuddered; Midoriya. Izuku. How I wish he were here now.

"I need to think about it." Any starch I had, all the confidence in myself and my abilities were as gone as the ability itself. I stood, and everyone took a step back. I felt like it was because of my lack, though it was only because they'd been pressed close while I was sitting.

"Mom?" She came around, hugging me one handed, "Let's go. I'll let you know in a few days, okay, Sensei?"

My parents and I left them in Recovery Girl's office. I was trying as hard as I could to keep my emotions from taking over, but my mother was openly weeping, and my father looked like he wanted to join her. I know I did, but we had things to do yet today. I hardened the fist around my sadness and led them to Alliance Heights.

When we arrived, all my classmates, even some of the girls I'd become friends with in class B, were waiting in the entry. Quietly, I told mom and dad to go up to my room, and I'd join them in a minute. I scanned all their faces. I knew I'd never forget them. My eyes lingered on Midoriya. I took courage from his closeness.

I shook my head, a negative. The response was immediate and loud. Everyone promising they'd never forget, that they'd ace their finals in my name, protestations of forever friendship. My heart warmed, I knew with their help and support, I could get my powers back, to join them again. there were so many fierce hugs, tears, and slaps on the back, I felt like the only girl in the world.

I looked up to see Midoriya's eyes on me. He was standing slightly apart from the crowd, his sweet green eyes swollen with as yet un-shed tears, his freckles stark in a face that projected so much abject sadness. He indicted that I should leave the crowd, and turned to walk toward the elevator bank in the back hallway. Todoroki, tears sparkling on his cheeks as well, watched him leave, then watched me follow behind. I knew he must be hurting. As team captain during that training session turned villain hunt turned disaster, he must feel this deeply. I made a mental note to talk to him privately as well.

I found him just where I was expecting to, and he stood, his hands buried in his pockets, his eyes staring holes on the floor. He looked up as I cam e closer, and I saw that he had let his tears fall. Not that I doubted it, he'd been on the edge of tears in the foyer. It made me smile, if somewhat half-heartedly.

"I'm so sorry for what happened." Izuku started, his tone and timbre one I couldn't place, "You must blame me for this."

I wanted to shake him, "It's not your fault. I don't blame anyone except the criminal who thought it'd be funny to steal my power."

He shook his head, "Well." He started again, "Since you're leaving, I have to say this..." He trailed off, his cheeks and ears pinking delicately, "I like you, Uraraka."

What horrible timing. I would have gladly jumped into his arms and demanded to go on a date any other day, but now wasn't the time. My tears returned as he continued.

"You know what we face as potential heroes. Villains, disasters, even just prejudice." I nodded uncertainly, knowing instinctively I wasn't going to like where this was going. "With a girlfriend who was like me, a hero, I could have handled that. But it's not fair to expect you to live with that. I could die or be badly injured, or you could be targeted! Or our family harmed just because of who I am. I couldn't live with that. You shouldn't live with that!"

"You have a mother!" I blurted, ignoring the way his eyes were begging me to understand, "I had parents to worry about, they didn't stop us! We..." I broke completely, and I hoped ardently that no one could hear my pitiful sobbing, "We could make it work! I love you, Izuku, I have since the first time I ever met you!"

"I'm sorry," he reached out, but wouldn't even touch me, "Uraraka."

That was the final nail in this coffin. I fled to the fire stair at the end of the hall and ran up them as fast as I could back to my room. My parents were there, and although I don't think they knew my real reason for being this broken, it was enough that they hugged me and told me that they'd do everything they could to help. That's the best I could expect. The one thing I had hoped to get from the boy I'd loved with every particle of my being; the thing he wouldn't give me. Comfort.

* * *

**AN/** Sorry Midoriya fans! I really am, I just like crack fiction! **Please REVIEW!** Favorite! Make me laugh! Ah, side note, if you like reading, and want to read ahead and get into my brain, I could use a beta on this. It may be slow coming because I have like a million irons in the fire, but this story wanted to come out!


	2. A Meeting

_We will recover_  
_The worst is over, now._  
_All those fires we've been walking through,_  
_And still we survive, somehow. - Recover by Natasha Bedingfield_

This is honestly the best coffee in the city. Every year, and for the whole year that I came up to four times a week, the coffee has been amazing. I always come here, all the way to Mustafu, for two reasons. First, of course, good coffee. Secondly, I am nearly guaranteed that I won't run into anyone I know here. None of my old school friends have lost their quirks, and it's a half-hour from where I live with quirk disability meetings much closer to home.

When I first came, overwrought, going to anyone who offered quirk cures, I didn't care too much about coffee. I just wanted to be close to UA. Close to my old friends, though I hadn't seen them in a year, even if it was at one of these cursed meetings. Meetings that had seemed a stupid waste of time became a life-line.

It had only taken a few months for me to recognize that that part of my life was over. The friendships, counseling, and acceptance from people who either couldn't or shouldn't use their quirks changed me for the better. I became less bitter and more accepting. I learned that even though I wasn't saving people with my quirk, I could still save people. People who were going though some of the same emotions that I was. I found joy again at these meetings.

When I walked in tonight, I grabbed a paper cup of coffee, and dumped in my cream and sugar. I stirred it as I greeted people I'd known and marking the new faces for later. It was almost a year since I'd started, and I was looking forward to sharing my experience and memorializing. Maybe getting a new sponsor to help.

I sat near the back, where the newbies always sit, to be here if someone needed a shoulder to cry on. It happens, and I've made a lot of friends just by being here, being strong when they feel weakest. It hasn't always been easy. These meetings are also for those who don't or can't use a quirk because of how dangerous those quirks are. Hearing them talk about not using a quirk, their birthright, because they could easily hurt everyone they loved was difficult.

When the door squeaked open, announcing another soul that needed comfort, it wasn't much of a surprise to see them cloaked, a face deeply buried in a hood. That happened too. Some quirks ravaged not only others but the barer as well. What was a surprise was when the lanky stranger settled near me, and I recognized his scars. Or, I should say, his burns.

I wanted to scream, to whip out my phone and call the police, to run all the way to UA and beg Aizawa to capture him. The burns on the hands, peeking from under his jeans, it was the League's Dabi. I did pull my phone, but I didn't place a call. I was more curious than scared. So, I pretended I was just checking a text, and put my phone away and watched him.

"Uraraka!" Tall and fair-haired, the director of this chapter smiled at me. She'd lost control of her quirk as a child, and it had twisted the skin and musculature of her left arm and leg. She walked with a limp over to me, plopping down, "How have you been, girl?"

I smiled, "Good. We were able to get those government contracts, and those turned into even more accounts. I've been so busy, I just couldn't make it as often as I'd like to."

"Don't be a stranger, Ochaco. I miss you when you're gone, but I'm happy for your success." She flicked long honey-colored hair over her shoulder, and lowered her voice. "Did you see that man come in?"

I raised my brows, "The tall guy in the hood? Is there any way to miss him?" I laughed unsteadily, "Do you know who he is?"

She shook her head, "No. He won't speak, and when I tried to talk to him he just walked away."

"Maybe he can't." I snuck a look at Dabi. He certainly did know how to talk. I'd been in the fight against the League a few months before I'd lost my quirk. Maybe there was more to this than the nefarious schemes I'd been coming up with in my head.

The director's smooth face creased into a small frown, "We all know that can happen. I could try sign, I suppose. He just walked away. Literally. Didn't even wait for me to finish introducing myself. I was sure I'd never see him again." The frown disappeared like it'd never been there, "Do you think you could try your magic?"

_Um, no?_ I replied in my mind. If anyone was equipped to deal with Dabi, they were up at the school or out in the city busting heads. Not me. "I can try."

Her lavender eyes, the pupil a strong spiral, brightened as she stood, "Thank you so much." She checked her watch, "It's almost time to start. Good luck."

I sat though the meeting, it rarely took more than thirty minutes, and listened to some of the others talk. Near the end, I got up and told my story.

"Hello. My name is Uraraka Ochaco." I beamed out at the crowd, "I'm happy to meet the new members, and hello to all the regulars." I nodded at a few faces in the gathering, and noted Dabi's reaction. He was sitting straighter, his hood turned firmly in my direction. "About four years ago, a villain stole my powers. I was a student at UA, in that year's famous class A."

I let my gaze linger on Dabi, and he shifted in his seat, but remained. "I must have tried every therapy ever invented to regain my powers." I held up my hands, the pink pads still there on my fingertips, though they might as well have been movie make-up. "Even three months of raw ginseng with every meal." That brought a few chuckles, it had been disgusting. "But they're gone, and I'm just a regular girl, with pink fingertips."

The room quieted, "These meetings might seem silly, but for a young woman so deeply depressed that she was considering suicide, they saved my life. Your stories, your courage, I learned so much from being here. You can too."

I gave them a small bow, and stepped away from the front to smattered clapping. The director stood, and explained that many of the regulars were available as sponsors, a friend when you needed one. I smiled, my last sponsoree was doing well in Osaka now, and I was hoping someone would need me again.

We closed by standing and reciting AA's serenity prayer, since it did seem to help a lot of us, too. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

I moved to sit by Dabi, now focused on me. "I think you know that I know who you are."

"Do you?" It was a low croak, not the loud boastful voice I remembered. "I don't even know who I am most days."

"Why are you here?"

Bright blue eyes glowered at me from beneath the hood, "When I over extend myself..." He lifted his hands, I could tell that they were worse than before, and pushed his hood back enough to reveal a nearly ruined face. The staples were gone, now only thin strips of soft skin were showing betwixt the burned. "I burn. The League asked more and more of me. You heroes got stronger. I didn't."

I fought not to gasp, "I'm.."

"I don't want your pity." He tugged the hood close again with an irritated snort, "I knew coming was a mistake." His rasp was even worse, was he sad?

He stood, and I caught his sleeve, bringing myself to stand as well, "No!" I released him as he turned his burning gaze back to me, "No it wasn't."

"I want you as my sponsor."

Honestly wasn't expecting that. "If you're serious, if you're not out doing work for the League, then I agree."

**Not Too Much Later...**

I think that anyone who describes their relationships and how they started all want to say, 'It happened so innocently.' I suppose that that's the way I would have described how my relationship with Dabi started. Innocently and perversely, quite quickly.

As soon as I told him that I would be his sponsor, I persuaded him to drink a cup of marvelous coffee before leaving. Then, we left together. He very hesitantly told me why he wanted to quit the League, and I told him the whole story of how I lost my ability.

We left company at the train, but made arrangements to meet back here twice a week. We both faithfully kept that appointment. It only took a few days for our pleasant talks to turn into pleasant dinners. Then pleasant evenings walking all around the city.

The night our relationship went from innocent to decidedly sinful, I had met up with him for our meeting. He'd been distant that night, hard to read. The meeting hadn't even ended when all that nervous energy that we'd all been sensing burst, and he stormed out of the meeting, trailing his blue flames.

"Hey!" I raced after him into the night. The moon shone bright over the city, and I slowed as I neared where he was flaring. "Calm down, Dabi. What's wrong?"

"This." He held out his hand, his overcoat clanking miserably as he lifted his fingers to the sky, sending a geyser of hot blue flame at the moon. "All of this! I can't stop, I thought I could, but look at me! I'm cursed." He dropped his hand as his flames winked out leaving me momentarily blind, "Cursed."

I shook my head, "No. You are not. Don't think that way, don't even think it."

"Why?" His voice, now that I was used to the darker rasp, lowered further, "I can't lead a normal life. I can't forget. No one will let me forget."

"I don't think so, Dabi. If you want to stop, then stop." I put my hands on my hips as he turned to face me.

"I fell for Stain's _shit_ because I hate my father. I stayed with the League because I hate my father." He looked toward me, but not at me, "I came here because I'm _tired_." He slumped, his voice even more hoarse than before, "Is hate a reason to do anything? I want to change, but hate has consumed me." I heard what sounded like a choked off sob, "Literally."

"Then find a new reason. I..." I caught myself; we girls, late night back at the dorms, tried to figure out Dabi since we were sure that 'Dabi' wasn't his given name. After fighting the League, seeing Dabi and his fighting style and especially now that we'd spent so much time together, the way his eyes and face are the same shape as Shoto's... Add in the fire and a terrible dad? I put the pieces together.

"He's changed, you know."

He shook his head, "I watched him get that scar." If he was surprised that I seemed to know his secrets, he didn't show it. He looked away, and I want to think he was embarrassed, though his face probably was too damaged for a blush response. "I think it was the last time I was truly happy."

I took a deep breath, "You're not who they think you are, Dabi." His robin's egg blue eyes drilled into me, "Shoto is a good person." I wanted to reach out and shake him, "All your siblings miss you, too. They could help. You can find peace." I held out my hand, "I believe in you."

"In prison? Oh, yes, maybe I could there." He sent a horrible croaking laugh into the air, "I want freedom, Ochaco. Not more bars."

He turned, his eyes shining, tears silver in the moonlight. It struck me then, how beautiful this scarred man still was. How broken and in need of restoration. I had given a little idle thought to what it would be like to touch Dabi. Would he be warm to the touch like Bakugo? What do those burns feel like? Can he kiss? Would he hold me? Those thoughts slid around my brain as he lay his fingers on my hand.

He _was_ warm. This fingers were like his brother's, long and strong, like a musician's. He applied pressure, and we stepped closer in concert. Somewhere in the distance a bell rung, and I wondered distantly if it was an omen. Whether it was or not, I tipped my head toward him, and he slanted his lips over mine.

It wasn't supposed to happen. A sponsor and her charge shouldn't fall in love, it crossed all propriety, but my body didn't care. When he wrapped arms around me, bringing me into a scorching embrace, all thought left me. All except this: he _can_ kiss, and he tasted like the scent of budding sakura.

The kiss turned into a frenzy at the closest love hotel. The room was gaudy, but clean and not too expensive. Hours later, we lay awake on a bed shaped like a roulette wheel, down to the bedding, striped in black, red, and green. I hadn't ever done anything like this before, and I hoped I never would again. I blushed at what my mother would think if I ever told her of what happened.

"That bad?"

"No." I turned my head, cuddling into the arm that was still hugging me close, "I was thinking that this room is insanely tacky. Would...?" I took a breath, this was too fast. But it still felt right, "Would you come home with me? I live by the bay in an apartment. Maybe you could start on that new life there. With me."

* * *

**AN/** Ah, my love for crack fics is showing! LOL Don't worry, Shoto is coming! The bell ringing is supposed to be an good omen. So is the taste of a kiss. The better your partner tastes, the stronger your love. Please review! I love them, you love to write them!


	3. An End

_Slow, so slow, I fell to the ground on my knees  
So don't fall in love there's just too much to lose  
If you're given the choice then I'm begging you choose to walk away, walk away  
Don't let it get you, I can't bear to see the same happen to you. - Terrible Things by Mayday Parade_

The days passed like they always did. I had my job working with my parents in our construction business while Dabi did whatever work where he didn't need a resume or customer service skills. I asked him if he wanted to work with me, but he'd always demurred, telling me that he was not the kind you brought home to mom and dad. That our relationship should remain a secret.

I was content with it because he was fun to be with. He kept things clean, and we seemed to have enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table and date nights to boot. He'd say that it didn't matter to him, as long as I was happy. The plainest fact was that he is a wanted criminal anyway. Even if I did take him to meet my parents, or put him on the lease, or any of the things a young girl might dream about, I would only be unhappy with what came next.

He was right, our relationship had to remain secret. That's probably why, when I realized I was pregnant, I couldn't tell him. I knew it would be the end of things for us. He could never be someone's dad from Tartarus. I couldn't put him on a birth certificate or family registry. So, whenever he tried to pin me down, saying that I was acting differently or asking if I was sick, I would detour him with kisses, and ignore the problem growing between us.

The morning that I woke up for a day off for my birthday, and he wasn't there, I was terrified. He'd been moody for the last few days, and I knew in my heart that this was it. When I sat up, making a sheet of paper flutter on his pillow, I reached for it with dread.

_My dearest,_

_I'm sorry for lying. All the times I lied to you, I thought I was saving you from something. I suppose I was. I was saving you from me, but it didn't work. I love you and, kamis help you, I think you love me, too. I know you're pregnant. You're the absolute worst liar, that's something I always enjoyed about you. If you could, for me, one last thing: name him Kaiden if he's a boy. If it's a girl, my mother's name is Rei. I've always loved her name. Consider it a request, one more stick it to my old man. _

_I am leaving, one last job for the League. I know, and I am sorry. You believed in me, and I let you down. However it ends, I don't think I'll be coming back from this. I will have to face my brother, and he will win. I wanted to change, but I had the wisdom enough to know that I couldn't. Don't give up, love our child, don't tell anyone who his worthless father was. Don't saddle the child with my name. Let me leave this life as I wanted: free from my father. Petty, I know. You're probably angry now, maybe you're sad - knowing you, probably both. Be happy that I am finally free._

_Yours forever _

I crumpled the letter in my fist. He believed in me, but not himself. I lay my hand over my womb, and flipped on the television. Somehow I knew I would see him one last time, and though I had to watch a few hours of morning shows, it finally aired:

"Breaking News!" The newswoman looked up from her papers, "Several wounded and at least five dead in an attack by the League of Villains on the Shinjuku district following a landmark conference for Quirk rights. The hero Shoto of Endeavor Incorporated supported by heroes from the All-Might Memorial Agency, most notably the All-Might chosen successor, Deku, arrived on scene..."

I muted the television, big, hot tears rolled down my face, plopping on my thighs as I stared at the carpet. I smoothed the letter before folding it into a tiny rectangle. He has known everything all along, and I hadn't known a thing. I hadn't wanted to see. I pulled open my nightstand's drawer, and tucked the letter against the far end.

I shook my head, still crying, and as the TV panned over a very familiar body, I flicked it off. I stood, and made up my mind to do the best I could without him. A shower later, I was standing on my mother's front stoop. I wouldn't tell her everything, a secret isn't a lie. It just feels like one.

* * *

**AN/** SO. IF Dabi is a Todoroki, I think he is approximately five years older than Shoto. I put him at 26 for this fic. In this chapter, it's a few days before Ochaco's 21st birthday. Tartarus is the name of the Quirk prison where All for One is being held. It's a boy, and it's pronounced cay-den. SORRY Marika. Don't hate me!


	4. A Year Later

**A Year Later - Timeline Current**

_'Cause I've been gone for a long time_  
_Waiting on the sidelines_  
_Hoping for a chance to play - Forget My Name by New Found Glory_

My father stood, Kaiden in his arms, and made him wave bye-bye at us. I rolled my eyes and laughed, at three months, Kaiden only really cares about two things: being fed and being dry. My mom dropped a kiss on her grandchild before kissing dad and pulling me away from mothering Kai out into the mid-winter snowfall.

It wasn't too bad, especially this close to the bay, and I was really looking forward having a day off from being a mom. Plus it was almost my birthday again, and getting my mind off my last birthday was just what I needed. I linked arms with mom before flipping my scarf over my shoulder.

"Kaiden is such a sweet baby." Mom snuck me a sideways look, "He doesn't look a lot like his mommy."

"Is this going somewhere, mom?" I raised my brows, "Somewhere not nice?"

She shrugged, "He's a lovely baby. I just can't understand why I never met his father. I swear, I will never bring it up again if you just tell me something about him." Her brown eyes, twin to my own searched my face, " I know Kai-chan isn't a product of violence. So, please, for your mom, tell me."

I took a deep breath. The winter air, dotted as it was with snow, burned my lungs. I allowed my feet to carry me to the train station, a short walk from anywhere in our neighborhood. My brain racked itself for something that wouldn't point to me being an idiot or Dabi being a criminal. Finally I shook my head with a smile, "We were in love, yes. We were only together for a really short time, mom." I squeezed her hand, "I've told you that before."

"I don't mean to harp," she started. "It's just that the whole not talking about him at all, I don't even know his name! It's like you two met, slept together, and he fell off the planet!"

"I know his name, that's enough until Kai-chan is old enough to know." There was no way I could tell my mom she'd nearly guessed the whole story. Given a week, she'd have Dabi's shoe size. We walked silently for awhile, "Look, just forget it. I really want to go have birthday brunch, birthday shopping, and birthday pampering. Please?"

My mother acquiesced with her usual good grace, "Alright, honey. Your secrets are yours." She smiled, "And birthday pampering sounds good. I didn't know we were pampering."

I nodded eagerly, catching sight of the train station, "I think I need to cut it off." I pulled at my hair, letting the chestnut tendrils slide though my fingers. "Kai-chan pulls it unmercifully!" I laughed, sending foggy puffs out to dissipate on the slight wind. "And I could definitely use a massage."

"I'm not paying for that, am I? Is this my gift to you?" My mom's fake annoyance made me smile again as we bought our tickets to Shibuya station.

I passed though the stile and checked out the closest vending machines. There was one that served warmed coffees and teas in cans, and I could really use one to chase off the chill. Finding the right machine, my mother trailed behind me, already reaching into her purse to buy one, too.

"It's on me. The spa, too." I fed the machine, and selected a sweet coffee for me and mom's tea. "Tsuyu really came though this year." She was the only person from my class that I had any contact with. She sent me a gift card for some fancy thing every year that she said she didn't have use for. All tucked into a birthday card with her name scrawled under the greeting and 'Happy Birthday' under that. I suppose we weren't really friends anymore, not like we were. I was sure that I hadn't even phoned her when I had Kaiden.

Inwardly, I felt a bubble of disappointment, in myself and my lack of friendliness toward a person who still cared for me. Maybe it was my fault, though I had trouble relating to her or her life now. Froppy was well known in our area, and anywhere else that was fairly wet. I made a determination to call her private line, the number had been scrawled on last year's card, and try to rekindle our friendship. I did miss her.

We boarded the train, mom and I sitting next to each other, our drinks open and half gone already. I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked the contact list. There it was, under Tsuyu, just like I remembered, and I left it pulled up so that it would be the first thing I saw next time I looked at it.

Mom finished off her drink, tucking the empty into her purse so we could throw it away at the station. The time passed quickly, both because I was so excited to be going out, and because now that I was a mom, hanging out with my mom became a dual source of encouragement and friendship. When the train slowed and announced the station we were getting off at, I couldn't wait to have a great birthday day off for once.

The Shibuya train station was just as busy as I expected this close to Christmas, even with the lingering snowfall. Mom and I left the warmth of the underground and re-entered the cold beauty of a mid-winter's morning in the extravagantly decorated neighborhood.

We ate first, after climbing stairs and searching for the Miyamasuzaka street exit from the station. So many excellent restaurants, and most of them in this part of Shibuya won't break the bank. That part would come later! For now, we enjoyed the sake specials, and the warm atmosphere.

The snow let up, leaving slushy puddles and air that seemed to want to steal your breath. We must have hit every shopping outlet from the place where we'd eaten to the spa that Tsuyu had sprung for. I was loaded down with shopping bags of clothes and toys for Kaiden, and for myself. I patted my new Legato Largo purse, it was clearance, but still a lovely thing that was large enough to hold not only the things I needed on a daily basis, but stuff for the baby, too.

When I heard the crackling noise in the distance, I didn't think much about it. There was construction all over the district and would be for the foreseeable future. The spa I had been looking forward to for the last week and a half was still a long city block away. I hitched all my bags up, and continued walking with the flow of pedestrian traffic.

When that traffic began to run I turned around. When that noise that I had dismissed as construction became suddenly over loud, I screamed. Two people, villains, my fuzzy mind supplied unhelpfully, swung into view. A woman, sand trailing her like she'd brought along a sandbox, flung her hands out at what I assumed was the hero who I couldn't see. The sand whipped in the freezing air, and shot forward at a speed I almost couldn't follow.

The other grabbed at the sides of his head, and the building in the distance, the one where I desperately hoped a hero was hiding, began to crack, a thick line of broken masonry bisecting a corner. I saw him then, the hero, and it took my breath away.

"Mom!" I backed up, "Mom we need to run, that's..."

The sand villainess swiped her hands our way, and a wave of humanity scrambled for cover. I was pressed against the nearest building, my mother, thankfully, just a meter or so away, similarly clutching at a doorway to stabilize herself. Good enough. I looked up again, and mister mind-game looked right at me, it seemed.

A burst of searing flame hit the sand, sending molten droplets scattering into the crowd. The brick and concrete above me began to creak ominously, and I took a death grip on my purse, and sprinted toward my mom. Old instincts, long-buried, sprung into being just as the first blocks began to fall. I stretched out my hand, once again.

"Mom!" I felt my voice catch and crack as I ran. My fingers met the rock, sending the jagged chunk soaring. I didn't stop. I didn't think, I just felt. I dived toward her, she was staring in open-mouthed amazement. "Run! Ruuuunnnn-" Had I stopped to do as I'd been trained to do; to take in my surroundings, to not let personal attachments blind me to danger, maybe I could have avoided what came next. The rock I didn't see. The rock that slammed into my head.

**Shoto**

I yawned, pushing my arms above my head in a loose attempt to reinvigorate them. It was just a few days before Christmas, and dad had let me and most of the staff have the next couple of days off. Tomorrow I would go and stay with my mom and sister at the house, but as for today, I battled the twin demons of boredom and paperwork.

My personal phone rang, and I checked the caller ID, "Hey dad."

"I think one of your classmates was involved in a villain attack." I sat straight, all tiredness gone, "The one who dropped out? Maybe..."

I interrupted angrily while looking around for my hoodie, "Dropped out? You mean Uraraka?"

"Like I would remember?" Enji barked back, "Whoever she was, we're taking her and her mother and some other civilians to the hospital. She was injured. But managed to keep some others safe with her quirk until she got knocked out."

I was confused, "Uraraka lost her quirk, though. If she got it back..."

"Look," he paid me back by cutting me off, "That's all I know." He sounded tired.

"Fine. which hospital?" Enji supplied the name and I hung up, now too keyed up to do anything but leave and see who it was. If it was Uraraka, even now, there were things I needed to say to her.

I called down for our car service, and tucked my ID card into my pocket along with my wallet and my house key. I'd just go to the main house afterward. My mind was uncommonly scattered, and it was all Uraraka's fault.

The elevator dinged, and I stepped in, spending the admittedly short interval thinking about my old classmate. I'd not liked the way she'd left. I had meant to talk to her, to let her know how sorry I had been that I hadn't stopped that villain more completely , how I hadn't done anything correctly, and to apologize.

I left the building and stepping into the car, I ordered, "Red Cross Medical, Shibuya."

The rest of the car ride was silent except for the incidental noise of traffic and life happening all around. Yet, I was so keyed up, my mind working so hard, that all I could hear was white noise. The noise of my own insecurity facing Uraraka again. How I should have worked harder to be her friend. How I should have supported her, offered something... Though I had no idea what that could be.

I had been wracked with guilt for weeks after that incident. I clearly remembered when Ochaco had turned to me with terror in her eyes. Her voice wrought with disbelief, and all I could do was order an ambulance and touch her, all too briefly, on the arm. It hadn't been enough then, but I wouldn't be the same now.

If my father had hurt her, even by accident, I would be there for her. If another villain had managed to take something else away from her, I'd be there to give her whatever she needed. The fleeting thought of a childhood crush crossed my mind, and I tried to vanquish it. This was payback, I owed this to her.

When we finally arrived, I told the driver to just go on home, he'd done enough on a holiday weekend. Besides, I could find my own way home easily enough from here. I stopped in the lobby just long enough to buy a bouquet of holly and poinsettia to brighten her room, and to inquire which room was hers.

I walked the long hallways nervously. Apparently, Ochaco was in a coma, and they feared waking her since she'd gotten a severe head injury. I clutched the flowers to my chest and hurried to the elevators and the ICU.

The nurse's station was busy, green and blue scrubs rushing to and fro, phones and computers making noise and adding to the racket of the people in plain clothes. There were clusters of them, and I scanned their faces, looking for Ochaco's parents. When I spotted them, her father holding a woman with Ochaco's autumnal hair and a thick white bandage on her cheek, I quickly stepped forward.

"Mr. and Mrs. Uraraka?" A blue and a brown pair of eyes turned to me, "We met awhile ago if you recall."

The pair broke apart and I had a small shock. Not that it mattered much, but it seemed Ochaco had a sibling. A tiny baby was swaddled and tucked into Mr. Uraraka's arm. "Oh." Mrs. Uraraka's eyes lit up in recognition, "Right, you were in Ochaco's class, weren't you?" She shook her head, "I'm sorry, but how'd you hear that we were here?"

"My father is Endeavor."

"Please tell him thank you." Mr. Uraraka stuck out his hand, and I put my flowers on the floor by my feet before I clasped it, "I'm grateful both my girls are here. And thank you for coming to see Ochaco-chan." His eyes down turned, "She's in a coma, though. I'm sorry."

"It's me who's sorry." I looked at the child in his arms, "I didn't know Ochaco had a sibling."

"This is Kaiden." He said with a smile, "He's not mine. Kai-chan is Ochaco's son."

A doctor in slim glasses and black hair that brushed his shoulders came to a stop in front of us, "Mr and Mrs Uraraka? Can we speak privately?"

"Do you mind?" Mr Uraraka held the bundle that had started to blink bright blue eyes at me, "He's a very sweet baby."

"I've never..?"

Mr. Uraraka laughed, "There's a first time for everything..."

"Shoto," I supplied softly as he handed the baby to me. He gently positioned my arms and hands.

"Thank you, Shoto. We'll be right back."

I stared at blue eyes that were almost my shade, and smiled at a tiny face that was burbling , his little fingers reaching forward. I snaked my hand around and let him grasp my finger. I couldn't help the lump that rose in my throat. Ochaco didn't need me anymore, but at least I had this chance to hold her baby.

I rocked him for the next fifteen minutes, just talking softly to a little face that I felt like I'd known all my life. When Ochaco's parents came back, and I gave Kaiden back to his grandfather, I didn't know why, but my heart lurched. I scooped up my flowers and handed them to Mrs. Uraraka.

"If it's alright, may I stay here for awhile?"

* * *

**AN/** Legato Largo is a Japanese designer purse label. Not my taste, but I know a lot of women who'd love it. *has a small Pokemon purse* Thank you for your reviews, they really make me happy! Marika, sorry! I'm doing Bound in Copper which teams them up, but it's a complete AU. You could try it? *nudge/wink* **A big thanks to Dreams** who looked this over for me.


	5. Awakening

**Awakening**

_Is it cloak 'n' dagger  
__Could it be spring or fall  
__I walk without a cut  
__Through a stained glass wall - These Dreams by Heart_

**Shoto**

I paced the floor. In the recovery ward, the tiles were different then the ones in the ICU. Twenty-three steps from Ochaco's door to the window at the end of the hall. There was one door in between. The room held a man who likes to listen to baseball games very loudly and complain about how his family doesn't visit him. They probably were at home enjoying a peaceful holiday.

Twenty-three steps back to her door and the little messed up tile that tells me to walk twenty-three more steps. Irrationally I take meaning in these meaningless steps. That maybe if I wear out all the tiles then she'll wake up. I plunged my hands into my cardigan pockets and continued pacing.

"Ribbit," Tsuyu croaked as she followed my progress, "You're making everyone nervous." She lifted the hand holding a bottle for Kai-chan as he tried to decide weather he wanted to sleep or eat.

I nodded, I'm sure I was.

"Dear," Mrs Uraraka, she'd told me to call her by her name, but... "Shoto, please."

"I'm sorry." I took a deep breath and stilled my feet long enough to re-direct them to one of the chairs that littered the hallway. My toes bounced, I couldn't calm my nerves so easily, but at least I didn't want to bother her family.

It had been a week since Ochaco's parents and I had started basically living at the hospital. I'd gotten us rooms at the hotel across the street. With so much time to wait around, I managed to get into contact with everyone I thought might care about Ochaco's condition, and nearly the whole class had come for a little waiting and chit-chat. And to see Kaiden. Who was just as sweet as his grandfather had said. He rarely cried and loved to be held and talked to. And to eat. Just like his mom.

New footsteps made us all quiet as Dr. Ishida entered the hallway. He came to us, "Mr. and Mrs. Uraraka. You know we'll call if there's any change at all. You should take baby home and get a good night's sleep." He smiled at Kai-chan and wiggled his fingers at him before opening Ochaco's room and disappearing inside for his mid-day rounds.

"You should get some sleep too, Tsuyu, Shoto." Mrs Uraraka ran her thumb over Kai-chan's curly hair. "Everyone being here is good, but we could all use some rest."

Tsuyu pulled back the bottle which she then capped and put back in the hot pocket of the diaper bag, and then handed over the baby. "I'll call and come back tomorrow. Let me know when she wakes up, ribbit."

"Of course." Mrs. Uraraka put the baby on her shoulder patting his little back, "Thank you so much for being with us. Both of you."

Mr. Uraraka stood, his dark blue eyes once again shadowed in grief and reddened by lack of sleep, "The doctor's been in there for a few minutes. I'll go talk to him. Shoto, if you're leaving, can I call you later? I'd like you to be here if we have to move her, or if she wakes up."

"Yeah." I rubbed my eyes, "I'm going to listen to Ishida-sensei and grab a nap. If you don't hear from me, feel free to knock on my door." I ran my hands though my hair, making it shift across my forehead. I should shower, too.

I turned to leave as Ochaco's dad went in her room.

**Ochaco**

It may have been the scents that woke me first. The acrid smell of disinfectant and that unique reek of a hospital tripped over in my mind, waking me enough to try and open my eyes. What is happening? Why am I here and not in Recovery Girls office? And why are my eyes still closed?

"Mister Uraraka," A voice I didn't know began, his voice low and soothing. "I recognize that she's your daughter and special to you, but she can't stay here forever. There isn't anything wrong with her, she's just doesn't want to wake up." He paused, "She can go to a facility specially designed to care for people in her condition."

Huh? People in my condition?

"Head injuries are strange, and no one understands what will happen from one day to the next."

Head injury? I knew that Suntachi had stolen my power. Had I collapsed? Maybe I'd blacked out. But... if I had, why was I here? I swallowed, a dull ache in my throat, but why? I struggled to use my senses. One finger was heavier than it should be, a pulse/ox machine? My head didn't hurt, in fact, except for the strange stinging sensation in my hand and the fact that my eyes feel glued shut... I feel fine.

My dad spoke up, "I understand. I'll speak with my wife, and we'll make a decision. Maybe we can just bring her home with us."

"That might be best," said the doctor. "Please page me once you've made a decision, and we'll work out what to do next."

I waited for the door to close, "Daddy?" My throat seized, the smells making my stomach roll uncertainly, "Where am I daddy?"

"Oh! Ochaco! You're awake! Hold on," He bolted for the door before I could even look at him properly, "Doctor Ishida! She woke up!"

I managed to get an eye open, the other one was swollen shut. I must have really banged myself up something fierce. I watched as my mother crowded the men coming back though the door.

The man I didn't know -the doctor?- spoke softly to my parents, "Give us a few moments, then she's all yours, alright?" Mom and dad backed out of the door, and he closed it with a loud click. He took a few steps to my side and looked at my chirruping machines and smiled, "Miss Uraraka, please calm down."

I was crying, the eye that was stuck closed gummed open, "No!" I tried to move my hand, but it was too slow. "Where am I? What happened?"

The doctor blinked uncertainly at me, "We'll get to that in a minute. You hear that beeping? That's your heart and breathing going wild. Now, please, can you just take a deep breath for me?"

"O-okay," I mastered myself with great difficulty. Everything was wrong!

"Good morning, I'm Doctor Ishida. You've had a head injury, and we need to check a few things, alright?" I nodded, I couldn't help the way my brows knotted, "I'm going to ask you some questions, and based on your answers, we can figure out what to do next."

He came close and pulled a tiny flashlight out of his pocket, "Can you answer some questions for me?"

"Sure, okay." He raised a finger and I followed it with my eyes.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Uraraka Ochaco." I looked at my hands, the index finger on the right had been taped over, a wise precaution. The pulse/ox meter on the left jumped as I wiggled it.

He made a note, "Good. Do you know why you're here?"

"Villain attack, I think, but I don't remember hitting my head."

"That's normal, the brain tries to protect us from harmful stimuli." Ishida-sensei gave me a small smile, "Too bad you don't remember more, you were saved by Endeavor. He's kind-of a big thing here."

"Endeavor?" I lifted a hand, it looked the same as always, but other things... "I was? Endeavor?"

"You remember him, don't you?"

I lifted my eyes, and tried to process Dr. Ishida's face. He looked slightly perplexed, as if I'd said something he'd not expected. I mean, who could forget Endeavor? He was number one for the second year in a row. But why would Endeavor have cared enough to take me to a hospital? The closest I'd been to Endeavor was Shoto.

"Where am I? I mean, I know I'm in a hospital, but where?"

"Do you know Endeavor?"

I nodded impatiently, "Of course, I go to school with his son."

"You mean you went to school with his son?" Ishida frowned again, his brows drawing down, "Miss Uraraka, how old are you?"

"I just turned 17, I'm in the Hero course at UA high..." The heart monitor started to beep more rapidly as my eyes welled in scared confusion, "Where am I?"

Ishida's eyes widened, "Miss Uraraka..."

"What? How long have I been out?"

He put on a sympathetic face, "You need to try and breathe for me again, alright? Please calm down so we can talk."

I gulped down air, desperately trying to stop crying, but Doctor Ishida must have been encouraged my progress for he leaned forward, "This is going to be difficult to hear, but please listen carefully." He took a deep breath as well, "Miss Uraraka, you're 22 years old. You were brought in with a head injury, and were asleep for about a week. There's more, but your family will help with that when the time comes."

I stared at him, not believing what he'd said. Then I felt a tremor run though my arm, and I looked down, something warm and wet was running over my ribs. "What's happening? Where am I? Am I bleeding!?"

"I'll call a nurse to come in and help you. You're not bleeding." He swallowed, "I was hoping that this news would wait, but it's breast milk. You have a child."

I shook my head in a daze. This couldn't be. I have a child? I'd never even had a boyfriend! I was over twenty? Wasn't I a hero? "I'm not a hero?"

He shook his head, "I'm sorry. It seems you have some amnesia, which is not uncommon with head trauma. It may subside on it's own, or you may have permanent memory loss. Do you understand what I've said?"

I shook my head, this was a dream of some sort. I couldn't be all what he said. A joke! But not even Kaminari had this warped a sense of humor. My skin felt tight and I gave in and cried. I lifted my hands to my face an sobbed like a lost child.

Doctor Ishida stood, "I'm going to call Doctor Nakamura for a consult. Would you like me to send in your parents?"

I nodded, and I heard the door open and footsteps. My mother and father racing for the bed. Being gathered into my mothers arms as we both cried on each other's shoulders. I felt my dad reach in, and hug us together, his own breath hitching with tears.

* * *

**AN/ **Ishida is a common last name in Japan, and of course, is an homage to Ishida from Bleach. Glasses FTW. Mr Mosevic, thank you for the encouragement!


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